Well, now that the Democrats have assumed control, we know that the Social Security system will not receive its overdue overhaul. (Not that the Republican majority was doing anything about that issue either.) It is a shame, too, with all of the Boomers that are about to break the system. What are Xers and Ys going to do about this disproportional burden that is about to be placed squarely on their shoulders?

I think the solution is obvious. I think that in the vein of the degradation of the value of human life in this country that we institute a new policy of euthanasia amongst the retiring Baby Boomer generation. It is only fair that we do so. Over 10 million members of Generation X were aborted between 1973 and 1982. Had they been allowed to live, the workforce would now consist of about 88 to 98 million Xers. That number, plus the millions that have joined the workforce from "Gen Y" over the last few years would have enabled a ratio of payer to payee more conducive to the survival of the Social Security system. As it stands now, though, with approximately 78.2 million Boomers, each Xer will have to support one Boomer. (Give or take.)  As the "Silent" generation, i.e., the Boomer parents, extends its life past the centennial mark, that actually puts an even greater  burden on the Xers and Ys.  "Grandma" and "Grandpa," however, did not murder us, they spoiled us.  And, they pulled our nation's bacon out of the fire during the Great Depression and World War II. So, our euthanasia policy will not include them.

Where do we begin? I think it is obvious that we start with those Boomers that do not enjoy their matured status as new retirees. You know the ones I'm talking about. Yes, the ones that Dennis Hopper is trying to sell investment plans to or the ones that follow the path of the Sheehan. These are the hippie wannabe-agains. They pine for their counterculture 60s youth by protesting the War on Terror and looking for perceived social injustices to correct. At least, now, they have an excuse to smoke their marijuana--it is for their glaucoma. (Now if they could only find a "legitimate" use for LSD. But, I digress.) These Boomers are warped to their core and have no understanding of the values that made this nation great. They rejected those values long ago only to discover a "side effect" of the system that they once fought: materialism or greed. Ironically, whereas they were once content to live in a commune and pick apples, they now want full Social Security benefits including prescription drug coverage and perhaps even socialized medicine. It is easy for them to demand such because they won't be paying for it.

And what of the logistics of carrying out such a large scale plan? We do not want to be too harsh. They may have "dilated and curettaged" our compatriots, but we will allow them to pass humanely. We will issue them cyanide pills that we will give the whimsical moniker, "RU65." Yet, with our sadistic penchant, we will arbitrarily assign the moment when said pill is to be taken. We will administer the pills to some Boomers at least 9 months prior to retirement. They won't even be given a chance to savor the reality of retirement. For others, we are going to wait until the office is actually throwing the retirement party.

Yes, it would be nice if some of these would see their demise as their civic duty. But, such is not realistic given their aforementioned warped sensibilities. These needing "RU65" the most are the ones that would fight it the most, kicking and screaming. Truly this is not the most unobtrusive solution that we could choose. In light of this suggestion, some of the Democrats, knowing that they are on the top of our "RU65" list, might actually prefer privatization of the Social Security system. But, what I have offered is just another modest proposal.